How many times have you heard, I’m too busy, I don’t have time.
This was me all throughout my 20’s and even a few years ago.
My kids totally changed my perspective, yet I’ve been the most successful in my entire career with them and not killing myself in doing so.
So what changed?
Did I work harder, more hours, grind 10 more hours a week into the night, sleep 1 less hour a night so that I can wake up earlier?
None of the above.
I worked smarter, set priorities, said no more and it was tough as hell!
I’d be lying if I said it was easy, it wasn’t.
This balance thing is pretty interesting, because I do believe it's possible.
When we had Lily 3 ½ years ago, that was the toughest shift for me of my life, having a kid, growing my business and trying to somewhat be present with Genevieve.
Took me almost 2 years to figure it out.
I come from a farm background, dove right into bodybuilding at 16 years old and my motto was just work harder, it was a badge of honor I held for myself when I’d work those 14 hour days.
I DO believe there is a place for those long days, but I was doing it week after week for years, which put me in the hospital in my late 20’s for 2 days hooked to an IV due to high amounts of stress.
To be clear, I was on NO drugs of any kind, I’ve never taken a steroid, recreational drug or anything illegal, it was from overstressing the body for too long, my CK levels were insane, I remember getting the results back from my doctor at 25 years old.
So why share all this?
Sometimes it takes a lot of pain to realize something good.
I remember listening to a podcast from Lewis Howes 5 years ago, he said growing your business will go through seasons, seasons of working long hours, seasons of rest and recovery, seasons of deep reflection and strategy, seasons of hustle and growth.
For the past 3 years I’ve been surrounding myself around people who have successful businesses that are in a loving relationship, have kids and have a thriving business: Aaron Parkinson, Andrew Cass, Mike O’Hearn, Markus Kaulius, Heath Evans and Todd Abrams.
Within our TRM Leadership circle I’ve done the same thing with positioning leaders around me that are in a loving relationship (someone they have been with for more than 2 years) and some of them with a family (have kids).
Balance is possible.
Building a successful business is possible.
Building a strong relationship with your family is possible.
Building an awesome physique is possible.
Building perfect health is possible.
Building a romantic, loving relationship with your wife, husband, girlfriend or boyfriend is possible.
First, we need to quit being so darn self absorbed.
In this week's podcast you’ll hear some amazing lessons from Jaime Filer and Leo King, as they both are competing, growing their business and having a thriving relationship at home.
Nothing fell totally apart because they did a show, they found and practiced certain principles that allowed them to keep thriving in all levels, go listen to this when it goes live in a few days on our podcast platform of either apple, spotify or stitcher.
The first step to balance is…….Establishing clear priorities!
Then setting boundaries.
Then planning each week and the night before each new day.
Then scheduling in your priorities and delegating to someone else who finds joy in that activity OR putting these items on a list to revisit later.
Then limiting distractions.
Then getting around a positive support circle that embodies your core values.
Then getting or having a coach or mentor who you resonate with, who believes in you and who stretches you towards your BHAG goals, without compromising your values and standards and keeps you focused.
Then getting your mind right and keeping it conditioned daily, just as you would do for your business, nutrition and training.
And to not forget to be human, you're going to make mistakes, screw up, be challenged, pushed, forget things, that’s called being human, don’t beat yourself up over it.
I used to have mental conditioning that had me believing I should work harder, work more hours, work whenever I get a spare moment, work into the night, sleep less, grind harder, forget friends, get the sports car, get the private jet, do whatever it takes.
If I wasn’t working I’d feel guilty.
If I wasn’t reading a book or doing something business related I felt guilty.
My new conditioning, which still is a work in progress.
Work smart, do work that brings me joy, invest in great people who can help serve towards the grande vision and take good care of them, hug and kiss my wife and kids daily, step into my authentic power and just be me unapologetically.
Take care of my TRM team, treat them like family, delegate, spend 60% of my work week on high leverage ‘zone of genius’ (this is a work in progress) activities. Spend quality time with those that value me and my time, let go graciously of those that don’t value me and my time (there is someone more aligned to serve them).
At 5 pm it's time for family and kids, no phone, no social media just them, Sunday’s is family day and Wednesday’ afternoons are date day’s with Genevieve, while my mornings are me time for my walks, reading, learning and writing. Most importantly is reminding myself that there is no competition with anybody, the only competition is with myself, striving to be present, grateful and focused on the few that expand towards a powerful impact.
Lastly, go out and be bold, make a positive imprint in the world, build win / win relationships, crush goals, dream big and never give up on something that has true meaning in my life.
This is my personal opinion, those that strive to compete with others in business, are never happy, they struggle with inner demons, worry, anxiety, stress and ego. It ends up being a revolving wheel of ups and downs.
Strive to serve and develop a hunger for growth and impact to better those around you and you will bring much more joy into your life.
To round this week’s blog out, sit down and set clear priorities of what’s most important to you, position these priorities in your calendar, limit the distractions and stay aligned to them. We all need a positive support / growth circle, who is yours?
If today’s message resonated and your searching for one, drop Tannie an email at [email protected] and we can see if TRM is a collective fit.
Put yourself first as best you can, even if you have a young family like myself. That could mean only 1 hour a day, but that 1 hour makes a world of difference, use it wisely.
YES you can have it all.
Start with some decisions and stick with them!
Hope this served you today!